Scene:   IRB office. Researcher (Lisa Rutherford) enters.
Researcher:   Hello, Miss Stewart
Martha:   Call me Martha.
Researcher:   I have the letter from the IRB. They tabled my protocol.
Martha:   Yes, I remember. Some of them cried when they were asked to vote. What does the letter say, again?

Researcher:   Sings "It's Unapprovable" to tune of "Unforgettable".
Soloist:  Lisa Rutherford

Unnn-approvable
That's what they say
It's un-doable
In short, no way.
My consent form was too technical
The benefits were theoretical
They sent me to see
Some guy, Puglisi.

Expeditable
That's what I thought
I'm indictable
If I get caught
I say goodbye to my relations
If I don't follow the regulations
Then my pardon
Will be unapprovable, too.

Martha now sings to tune of "My Favorite Things" from "Sound of Music"

I'm really sorry to hear that you blew it
You should have listened to me and you knew it
Your tale is sad but excuse while I sing
Following rules is a Very Good Thing.

Review the Belmont and the regulations
Make the consent include all indications
Using lay language explain everything
Following rules is a Very Good Thing

Here is the number of Ada Sue Selwitz
She'll shape you up, but if you don't -- well, it's
Risking a visit from OPRR
Patients have lawyers if you go too far

Meet our deadlines
Don't make headlines
This isn't just a fad
Listen to Martha -- a Very Good Thing --
Then you won't feel so bad!