Board Member #1:  Where in the world have you been hiding?
                                     Really you are the culprit

Researcher:   The Chair once spoke of an audit, I used to fear they'd appear
                        Now as I wait I can sense them, and I know they're here
                        Here in this room they read our records, searching out each transgression
                         Somehow I know they will find errors, knowing every nuiance

Board Member #1:   I've watched this Board from the shadows
                                     Breaking most every rule
                                     I hear what you say to the others, but it's all untrue

Researcher:   OPRR, dear regulators, help us to learn together
                         FDA, our paths have crossed now, teach how to improve

Phantom:   Insolent boy this bold researcher, basking in our glory
     Ignorant fool this brave young member, basking in our triumph

Researcher:   OPRR, We hear you! Speak, we listen, stay by our side, lead us
                        OPRR we were weak, forgive us. Don't shut us down, master.

Phantom:   Flattering child you shall know me, see why in towers I hide
                     Look round your lab and your binders, it is there inside

Researcher:   OPRR, dear regulators, help us to learn together
                         FDA, our paths have crossed now, teach how to improve

Phantom:   I am your regulator, speak to me poor researcher

Board member #2:   Whose is that equipment, who is funding you?

Phantom:   I am your regulator, listen to me Board members